Colossians 3:18-21 & Ephesian 6:1-6

Recurrent Thought

A stable and health Family is the bedrock of any society. It is a miniature society that provides the DNA for human existence. We change it to our own peril 

The family is the source and pattern of society. If the family is corrupt and disorganized, society suffers. A health and well-regulated household is a regenerative force in society. To destroy the family is to destroy the larger society, such as nations.

 After dealing with the aspect of Living the Christ Life as individuals (ch.3:1-17), Paul now shifts into how to demonstrate this life in a household. In this text, it is being suggested that when we live victorious as individuals, we must also win everywhere. Our individual lives as Christ-devoted followers are demonstrated out in the public, and the first place is the home. A strong and victorious Christian in private, will likely become a great dad, wife or leader in the community.

The text references a traditional Family, but we are fully aware that with time and changes in cultures, values of Marriages and Family structures keep on changing. The duties and values stated in this text are timeless. In today’s cultural contours we must recognize other forms of families: Single-Person Headed Families; Polygamous Families; though not biblical, there are Gay-related Families, and many others.

There are three relationships Apostle Paul identifies in a household that are critical foundations for Christian living and impactive on society. These include Husband and Wives; Parents and Children and Masters and Workers. Today we want to deal with the first relationship: You and Your Spouse. The word Bae means lover and abbreviation standing for Before anyone else (Bae)

Then what happens for those who not married, single, young or beyond the marriage circle. Should they leave the auditorium, or shut off. No, to the contrary. If I am not married and does not belong to a family, does this teaching impact me? We are all part of a family one way or another, so this teaching affects everyone. Above all, You are all being recruited in a Family Prayer Band, to regularly pray for Families. Because what comes out of the family, whether good or bad, impacts you, everyone of us.

Some Current Forces against the Family

• The rise of Secularism and its design to uproot standards and dislodge Biblical values. Secularism refers to the belief that religion has no place in the day-to-day activities of governing bodies in a society. 
• The spirit of murder through Abortion and Infanticide. Unfortunately, the desire to be free from the yoke of parenting pushes this philosophy and practice
• The rise of Anti-Tradition Family Values. Rejecting the structure and values that have kept Families for centuries. You find an acceptance free sexual for people that are married, accepted incest, etc.
• The rise of the Godlessness in the society: that which is called evil by God, modern Society calls good. Same sex is declared ok by modernity. Now the values of Christian family are mocked. 
• The spirit of Independence by members of the family. Wives behalf independent from the husbands and vice versa. 
• The rise of the Youth Rebellion, that demands for a place at the table without working for it.
• The rise of Sexual Revolution with its premarital sex, pornography, adultery, homosexuality and easy, no-fault divorce has left in its wake broken families, untold heartaches, suicide, poverty and abortion. Throw in this our current Gender confusion and transgenderism.
• The rise of radical Feminism that portrays being a homemaker, where on places the husband and children first, and if need be, remain a “stay at home” mum for the sake of the children as a form of slavery.

Some Challenges in Modern Families

1. Most families lack the time to socialize, to talk, to pray and to bond
2. Roles of fathers and mothers are transitioning and at times rejected without any alternatives. 
3. Values are breaking down by cultures that do not care about bible values. 
4. Not knowing how to mentor, coach and parent our child in a nucleus family. The extended family sometimes has hooks for the child to lean on.
5. A Single Parent (who is a professional) is even more challenged to provide, care, and at the same time mentor, and coach the children especially if they are of different sexes. How does a mother mentor a son where there is no father? How does a father coach a daughter where there is no mother in the home?

What is the Way Forward? Believe, hold on to and follow the Biblical Values

1. Believe and accept that the Scriptures are the bedrock foundation for raising a family and constitute a rule book for character development and moral living.
2. Espouse the values of the Scriptures, Model the lifestyle of the Bible
3. Protect the integrity of the Family by living a life of integrity. This is not a cry for perfection, but living under open heavens despite our failures.
4. If you a Parent, remember parenting is both a privilege and a responsibility 
5. If you a child remember you are privileged with a community to help you, it may not be perfect, but you can make the relationship better.

The Scriptures we handle today give two firm commands to Wives and Husbands

Duties between Husband and Wife are indeed a way of Serving each other

Before your marriage, your spouse was not 100% the right and possible candidate for You. After you exchanged the marriage vows, that person became 100% the right person. It does not mean they automatically became perfect, no, but they became the right and fitted one because God does not permit divorce. 

If you are married, Your responsibility is to perform the duties and services to your spouse who in turn serves you to improve the marriage relationship. Be assured that Marital healthiness is achieved when the spouses faithfully perform their duties  

Command # 1

The Duty of the Wife to the Husband is Submission

1. It implies that the Wife has to willfully show dependence on the husband as the head. 
2. Man and Woman are totally equal as regard of the essence, for the they are made from the image of God. However, it is true that man and Woman are different.
3. Submission also means the wife’s ability to demonstrate respect to the husband. This is a difficult injunction. But the reality is that it is difficult to respect some men; but it is even more difficult to love where we cannot respect. 
4. Remember also that this obedience has boundaries. It is only obedience in all things reasonable and lawful (1 Peter 3:5-6.).
5. Notice that the submission of the wife to the husband is governed by a Spiritual principle: “As it is fit in the Lord” (Col_3:18). 
6. Submitting “as it is fit in the Lord,” means that her first level of submission is to the Lord and then to her own husband. 
7. Notice this Service is regarded as the First and foremost. There are others that are demanded of the Wife, but they are only possible when this is fully appreciated and implemented.
8. It also means that Your level of submitting to Your husband must be pleasing to the Lord. I suggest to Wives not to fight the principle, but apply and enjoy it. A wise submission works wonders. The wisdom of the Lord is that it is possible for you to stoop and yet conquer.

Command # 2:

The duty and service of the husband to the Wife is to provide Love “Husbands, love your wives” (Col.3:19)

1. Husbands are enjoined to manifest genuine love to their wives 
2. Love is the sum of the husband’s duty and service and in turn it regulates all the other services He renders to her.  Where love rules, the family lives at peace
3. Something is wrong with a wife who does not get affected by a genuine love from her spouse.
4. This love must be free from harshness. It is possible that a heart of a believer in Christ can be trapped by extreme anger which can in turn be passed on to those around them.
5. Bitterness in whatever form should be avoided. Whether it is loud or silent bitterness, it should not be entertained. Love is the best cure of bitterness.
6. Just as to the wife, note that this Service is regarded as the First and foremost. There are others that are demanded of a husband, but they are only possible when this is fully appreciated and implemented.
7. As a husband know that the greatest atmosphere of submission for your wife is when the you demonstrate vision and provide love. You make it difficult for your wife to follow a biblical injunction to submit where there is no vision, direction and in the absence of love. 

Conclusion 

When spouses fail to perform their services, they weaken their relationship

When spouses fail to perform their services, they destabilize the marriage structure

When spouses fail to perform their services, they disempower the next generation 

Altar Time

• Praying for protection of the structure of Families at ICA, and in the Nation
• Praying for those who are married: willful rebellion against biblical values and command
• Praying against the delusion of pursuing progress that is ungodly